Thursday, June 29, 2006

Kill the Old Dog and a Bitch Takes Over

I waited to post this for a little while, to let the Larry Brown firing settle in. Mr. West sent me the following tidbit (title included) a week ago, but with the draft completed and the stench of Isiah Thomas' rancorous odor permeating the Garden once again, it seems time to throw bows. Check it out...

Mr. West - Larry Brown is gone. Finally. The man played a magnificent con game for a year and will get PAID in full. He will make Rakim fully appreciate the meaning of the phrase. And so, as every Knick fan feared, in steps Isiah Thomas. I’d ask the lord to help us but even Jesus hates Isiah Thomas. Go Nets.

Mr. East - Yup. Mr. West called it right in January. Larry Brown got paid and the Knicks are rudderless and dismal yet still. I'm not mad at the Stephon Marbury trade. I'm not even mad at the Eddy Curry trade, The #2 pick in the 2006 draft probably ain't worth more than a 7 footer with a good offensive game anyway. What I want to spit on James Dolan for is the circus that has accompanied the lesser moves that have been made almost without consideration for the consequences. The Cheney firing was an embarassment. They treated him like a schmuck. The Lenny Wilkins hiring made no sense. His firing was equally bizarre. Herb Williams got strung out while Larry Brown, Dolan, and Isiah jerked each other off.

Why Quentin Richardson? Why Steve Francis? Why Jerome James? Why Jalen Rose?

What plan could they possibly have been following that told them these were the right moves to make? The sexual harassment. The tough Chicago poor kid from the ghetto crap that Isiah pulls everytime someone criticizes him for fucking everything up. Yeah, Zeke. That'll solve all the problems, and erase all the fucked up decisions you've made since the CBA debacle. Talk tough. Go ghetto. It'll all go away and you'll wake up dressed in satin robes wearing a laurel wreath. Fuck you.

At least the Knick fans are mobilized. The draft was the 1st big volley in an onslaught of verbal abuse that Zeke should take from the bench this year. The Garden is gonna rock with "Fire Isiah", and even better, we should hear the wonderful cries of "Sell the Knicks" on Dolan's own Cablevision broadcasts almost nightly. That is, unless they decide to black out the games or replace the crowd sound with Dolan's crappy blues riffs.

Go Knick fans!!! Burn down Babylon!!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Blazing Fire

Heat Win NBA Finals in 6

Mr. West - As we both predicted (sorry, but you know we had to say that to stroke our own egos), the Miami Heat took the NBA crown in 6 games. In fact, Mr. West had them winning it all back in our season forecast. And, sorry Mr. East, but your prediction of the Pacers over the Rockets was [insert Bob Ueker voice here] JUST a bit outside.

The attention placed upon the refs and NBA positioning crated by Mark Cuban and the Mavs is a little bit of overkill in my opinion. But it is hard to totally discount the impact of very subjective calls at key points in the two big games. Still, Wade is sick. He was Jordan sick.

The most important element of the Heat win? Pat Riley, give him some real credit, somehow got that whole team of veteran egomaniacs to bow at the altar of Dwyane Wade. If you told me 3 years ago that Gary Payton, Shaq, Antoine Walker, Alonzo Mourning, and Jason Williams all would defer to a youngster like Wade so easily, I would have thought you to be nuts. Yet Riley did it. Maybe the players all become selfless and angels on their own … but I fucking doubt it. The talent that is Wade plus the power that is Riley = egos in check, trophy in hand.

Mr. East - Thanks for reminding me of my pre-season prediction. Pacers over the Rockets? Ugh. I've been picking the Pacers to win it every year for the last 5 or 6 years, I think. I should know better by now. Jermaine O'Neal is just a walking pile of broken parts. Tinsley is a turnover machine made of paper mache. Stephen Jackson is a crank who can't (or won't) play defense. I don't care about his steals numbers. Ron Artest, in my defense, was in Sacramento by season's end, and I think they stole him. Peja Stojakovic is on the downward swing of a nice career. He will record career lows next year for sure. The Rockets lost out on McGrady's back and Ming's foot. The rest of the "supporting cast" couldn't support my nutsack.

Enough about my horrible predictions. I'd like to pat myself on the back for at least getting the Finals right. Even 1 billion monkeys typing on 1 billion typewriters will eventually write something interesting.

Wade was better than I could have imagined. He quickly made himself the best player in the NBA until someone takes that crown from him. LeBron gets a lot of press, partly because of how good he is at such a young age, but Wade is there right now. He's the kind of player that carries a team to a title. He dragged Shaq there this year. Nowitzki did his best, but he couldn't keep up the pace over 6 games. That's what it takes to enter the pantheon of greats. 12-21 games of excellence. Dirk was close but Wade was better.

The thing I can't get over is that Jason Williams and Antoine Walker now are NBA Champions. How is that possible. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse? Payton and Mourning got theirs, so I guess it balances out in the end, but the Antoine Walker shimmy is now forever etched in stone as the move of a champion. Puke.

Next year I'm picking the Knicks to win it all.....

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

So Mr. East all of a sudden makes like Jimmy the Greek in picking none of the Finals teams right while Mr. West is all of a sudden off to Vegas with his Heat-Mavs correct pick. So here's the Finals outlook:

PS- big plug to for downplaying the role of predictions and still almost picking all series right.

Mr. West: I just don't see how the Mavs can climb the Heat mountain. Without a doubt, Dallas is playing a tenacity and toughness even I thought they didn't really have. But they still flash too many signs of stupidity and casual play. Miami has their own share of periods of laziness but I think, like in the Pistons series, Riley is not letting that shit happen for very long. If Shaq hits 50% of his free throws in
a game, the Heat should win that game. The speed of Dallas may throw Miami off here and there but I don't see it happening over a seven game series.
Heat in 6.

Mr. East: Yeah, I crapped myself on the Conference Finals predictions, but that's over and done with. No sense in crying over spilled milk. Sonovabitch!! Sorry...On to my prediction.

There's only one thing I need to know about this series to make my prediction. Is Shaq in the Finals? Yes. Okay, Heat win. I should have known better with my Pistons' pick, but I really believed that Detroit was the better team. Idiot. Beyond taking the Heat strictly for Shaq, I have to say that Dwayne Wade is an otherworldly talent. He's the engine of the Heat squad, and you can almost forgive Riley for having Jason Williams and Antoine "Employee #Suck" Walker on the floor because of Wade's transcendant talent.

On the other side of things, Dirk Nowitzki is a monster. He may be the best player in the series for the way he's been dominating lately. Wade will be the better player in the long run, and Shaq is clearly the better player for his career, but Dirk is Mr. It right now. He should help his teammates rise to the challenge that the Heat present and steal a couple of games. Walker and Williams may play brilliantly in complimentary roles from time to time, but I believe their stink-o-rama styles will come out and keep the overmatched Dallas squad in it, with an outside shot at their 1st title. My money is on Shaq.
Heat in 6.