Sweet merciful crap, the Knicks signed Allan Houston.
After all the Knicks have done to themselves recently (Steve Francis, signing Jared Jefferies for more than $18, waiving Jalen Rose rather than sitting on his expiring contract, the Isiah Harassment case and Marbury intern limo bang this off-season, etc.) surely they must view the second-coming of Houston as good news.
But I am here to say signing Allan Houston is worse than all of the other moves Isiah has orchestrated.
As any Knicks or hoops fan would tell you, Houston was (is) a soft jump shooter with no heart whose career peaked when his ugly random runner fell in off the backboard in Miami. But more than that, the dude was one of those overpaid bitches who actually hurts you while he is on the floor. No defense, no guts, no intangibles. and the bitch (can Isiah still call a man a bitch?) has the nerve to declare he is coming back to the NBA.
Go back to your charity luncheons or else you'll get swatted.
In 2001, Houston signed a maximum 7-year contract extension with the Knicks, a decision that any intelligent creature knew to be a huge mistake for New York because it prevented them from making any moves for years and also paid a fluff player tons of cahs reserved for true stars. Houston's yearly salary of over $20 million made him a total anchor around the Knicks necks. Houston missed 32 games in 2003-04 due to a knee injury, and despite claims in the summer of 2004 that he would be ready to play the next season (he even refused to have surgery on his knee that summer), he played in only 20 games that season because he claimed injury hadn't completely healed. The knee injury would eventually force Houston to announce his retirement, on October 17, 2005.
And when he "retired" he took all of his damn guaranteed money with him. You know who was the 2nd-highest paid NBA player the past 2 years, right? Yep, this bitch. And he didn't play a single game.
For fans of Allan Houston, I think you might be mildly retarded or, at best, ignorant about hoops. His play was always super soft and one-dimensional. He was more Jeff Malone than anyone else. The stats that jump out? He averaged more turnovers and fouls combined than rebounds + assists + steals + blocks. What a sad little bitch.
YEAR TEAM G GS MPG FG% 3P% FT% OFF DEF RPG APG SPG BPG TO PPG
93-94 DET 79 20 19.2 .405 .299 .824 .2 1.3 1.5 1.3 .43 .16 1.25 8.5
94-95 DET 76 39 26.3 .463 .424 .860 .4 1.8 2.2 2.2 .80 .18 1.49 14.5
95-96 DET 82 75 37.5 .453 .427 .823 .7 3.0 3.7 3.0 .74 .20 2.84 19.7
96-97 NYK 81 81 33.1 .423 .385 .803 .5 2.4 3.0 2.2 .51 .22 2.06 14.8
97-98 NYK 82 82 34.7 .447 .385 .851 .5 2.8 3.3 2.6 .77 .29 2.44 18.4
98-99 NYK 50 50 36.3 .418 .407 .862 .4 2.6 3.0 2.7 .70 .18 2.60 16.3
99-00 NYK 82 82 38.6 .483 .436 .838 .5 2.8 3.3 2.7 .79 .17 2.27 19.7
00-01 NYK 78 78 36.6 .449 .381 .909 .3 3.4 3.6 2.2 .67 .13 2.06 18.7
01-02 NYK 77 77 37.8 .437 .393 .870 .5 2.8 3.3 2.5 .70 .13 2.21 20.4
02-03 NYK 82 82 37.9 .445 .396 .919 .3 2.5 2.8 2.7 .66 .09 2.17 22.5
03-04 NYK 50 50 36.0 .435 .431 .913 .4 2.0 2.4 2.0 .76 .04 2.04 18.5
04-05 NYK 20 11 26.6 .415 .388 .837 .2 1.0 1.2 2.1 .40 .10 1.05 11.9
Career 839 727 33.7 .444 .402 .863 .4 2.5 2.9 2.4 .67 .10 2.10 17.3
Dear Allan Houston,
If I catch you hanging out at the Garden like Charles Smith did for a few years, brave enough to show your ugly mug after what you did to this team, then I'll suckerpunch yer ass, too.
Signed,
Mr. West
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