News Flash! Pat Riley Finally Realizes Antoine Walker is a Fatso! Jabba the Hut sues for harassment.

In this world of insane media coverage, I think I am most amazed that this writer, Tim Reynolds, actually earns a salary. Dude, Tim, you wrote a fluff piece on 'Toine being fat! And you treated the story seriously!! Either you have the best sense of humor ever or you deserve to be eaten by the Jabba the Toine.

By TIM REYNOLDS, AP Sports Writer
October 10, 2007
MIAMI (AP) -- Antoine Walker's level of conditioning is still a concern for the Miami Heat, and coach Pat Riley predicted Wednesday it may take the forward until January to meet his team-mandated body fat level.

The issue has been a thorny one for Walker and Riley for the past two seasons. Walker was briefly suspended by Riley last season over body-fat measurements, and was kept out of the opening day of training camp practice this year for the same reason.


According to the story, this is the deal with Toine's size as of Oct 10th:

Riley would define "optimum" as 235 pounds with 7 percent body fat. Riley estimated that Walker weighed 262 pounds with 15 percent body fat at the start of camp, and the three-time All-Star has been slowed by a sore Achilles' tendon for the past week. Walker currently weighs 256 pounds, Riley said.

OK, sure, like I am supposed to believe 6'8" Walker who is very out of shape only weighs 256. IF ANTOINE WALKER WEIGHS 256 LBS. RIGHT NOW THEN I AM ROBBING HIS ASS MYSELF NEXT TIME.

No, seriously, my man, the corned beef sandwich was this friggin big, dog!! And so I said to myself "Toine you love corned beef!" and so I ate the whole thing before the trailers even ended!