NBA Season Preview: Atlantic

New Jersey
MVP: Jason Kidd
LVP: The Bench

Mr.EAST: This squad will fool you. On paper the skill players are as good as they come at their positions, and the bigs are not among the names you’d consider when listing standout NBA players. The thing is, Kidd, Carter, and Jefferson have all missed a lot of time with injuries in recent years and may have a hard time staying on the floor together all season. The bigs, Krstic and Collins, will have to pick up the slack to stay near the top of the Eastern Conference standings.

The way I see it, the Nets can afford to see either Carter or Jefferson miss time, but if Kidd is out the Nets lose. That’s how fragile their season is to me. Krstic and Collins are made better by the league’s top point guard, but without him they become spectators for the Carter and Jefferson show and that’s never a good thing for a team.

The LVP on the Nets is the bench. I can’t single out a particular player that crushes the Nets, but I have no love for their collection of bench players. Cliff Robinson, Lamond Murray, Jeff McGinnis, Marc Jackson, and Jacque Vaughn do not a successful bench make. The only guy I like on the bench is Scott Padgett, and maybe only because he’s a wild man.

Mr.WEST: You bring up a great point, Mike, literally: Jason Kidd makes his teammates much better than they really are, or at least better than they can be on their own. He is so much better than people realize. True fans need to watch him play. Honestly, does anyone think Richard Jefferson is an all-star and Olympic team member is j-Kidd did not make him to seem as such? Please! If Kidd is healthy, this team will fight hard and prevail more often than not. Sheesh, Kidd for Marbury … what a sucker Phoenix was!



Boston
MVP: Paul Pierce
LVP: Mark Blount

Mr.WEST: The Celtics have created quite an interesting dilemma for themselves as they have adopted the league trends of drafting real young yet have too many veterans to give the kids playing time. This year it looks like the Celtics can only go in one direction: backwards. While Antoine Walker and Gary Payton leaving may seem like Boston just solved their illness, it is more like bloodletting. Those two assholes filled box scores and, ultimately, would win games. Paul Pierce may now take on even more burdens- not good.

Pierce is a stud. He gets stabbed like he was bayonet practice and still kills you. But the kids like Al Jefferson, Delonte West, and Gerald “The Dunk” Green are gonna get abused by NBA ballers. Coach Doc Rivers is not gonna get these guys over the hump.
For the Celtics to make the playoffs means a few key things: no forced outside jumpers from way too deep by Pierce, no injuries to Ricky Davis or Pierce, and a running style that needs Mark Blount and his cap-eating salary off the floor so that LaFrentz t can spread the floor.

The Celtics got 99 problems but Pierce ain't one.

Mr.EAST: I would ask you to stop sucking Pierce’s dick, but you already used that line. Plus, any guy that gets stabbed 400 times and suits up the next night deserves good oral. I’m confused about this franchise. I used to like the idea of Doc Rivers as a coach. I used to think that the Celtics were about to get it right after 20 years of shit luck and stupid roster moves. Now I just don’t know what they’re trying to do. It seems like the only thing they have going for them is the best uniforms in the sport. They should just take a temporary leave of absence, send everyone to the Developmental League, and vacation in Hawaii for 3 years. Hang a sign on the arena door….Gone Fishin’….



Philadelphia
MVP: Allen Iverson
LVP: Chris Webber

Mr.EAST: I’m a Chris Webber fan. Have been since his Fab Five days. My buddy used to call him “Glass Webber” to piss me off, but I can’t front….this guy is made of the same stuff that double-insulates my house. Tough when it’s standing between me and the wind, but a good hard bump from a 200+ pound adult will end it’s season real quick. The Sixers don’t really need Chris Webber to be honest, but a decent year from him will make the difference between a 6th seed and a 3rd seed. In the playoffs that’s huge.

Iverson is too damn good for this team to miss the playoffs and a strong supporting cast of specialists assures a fun team to watch. Dress code be damned, Iverson will kick your ass in a suit and tie quick fast. He could be wearing a full tuxedo and tails and still drop 40 on you. He’s already beat up in the pre-season and one of these years he’s going to leave it all out on the court with nothing left to give the next day. Not this year. He may miss a handful of games, but the Sixers have a better cast of characters to absorb that blow now.

Dalembert should finally do something with guaranteed minutes ahead of him, and the only question mark is health. Korver is a marksman that is showing an improved all around game, and Iguodala is an athletic revelation that will have Sixer fans jumping out of their seats. The best part of this season in Philadelphia is having Mo Cheeks back at the point….er….on the bench. Where are Andrew Toney and Moses Malone when you need them?

Mr.WEST: Forget Moses, where’s Bobby Jones? Iverson is god in my book. He is Alexander the Great in Philly. I’m not sure why they even have a coach, truth be told. Webber is a joke who needs to play soft west coast ball to get his stats up. He is a broke-ass Larry Johnson at this stage in his career. Dudes like Dalembert, Korver, Iguodala should not be main men on your squad. This team is all AI.


Toronto
MVP: Mikes James
LVP: Raphael Arajuao

Mr.WEST: The Maple Leafs suck. Or the Barneys. Or whatever the hell you call this team. After Vince Carter pulled an inarguably bitch-ass move to get traded, Toronto became the new Hawks of the NBA. “Oh yeah, I forgot there was a team in Toronto” will be uttered by many a casual fan.

Toronto may have assembled a somewhat respectable starting five in new PG Mike James, Jalen Rose, Mo Peterson, Chris Bosh and some dumb fuck in the middle. Of course, they have no idea how to win ballgames. And they have no bench. And they have no fighting spirit as found in other less-than-talented squads such as Seattle and Chicago. Mike James creates order to the chaos that is a team with Rose on it but people are talking about Bosh as the second coming of Garnett need to remember that the underrated tag fits guys like Charles Smith when he was a Clipper better than it does an all-star. Expect Bosh to blossom but he is like a flower in the desert.

If you watch a Toronto game on TV you are either: A) a fantasy nerd with Jalen Rose on your team; or B) one sad motherfucker who has already seen that JAG re-run 3 times.

Mr.EAST: No team that starts Mike James or Mo Peterson is respectable. James is a nice player that plays back up on the big kids team. Mo Pete is just a big waste of a roster space. He’s the kind of guy that fits perfectly on a shit team, ‘cause nobody cares when he jacks up shots that make no sense. He must have naked pictures of you to mention his name and the word “respectable” in the same sentence. No one is watching anyway. The fans in the Air Canada Center keep wondering when the giant stone and brooms are gonna come out so the curling main event can start. They should merge this team with the Clippers and move them to the Turkish League.



New York
MVP: Stephon Marbury
LVP: Starbury

Mr.EAST: Yeah. The MVP of this team is Stephon Marbury, and the LVP is the character known as “Starbury”. The fact is, Steph is the most talented guy on the roster. It’s also a fact, however, that his head is gassed up like a hot air balloon. Steph never quite understood that a star is born from a great player, and not vice versa. His AAU coaches, boosters, entourage, and even his family had him convinced at an early age that he deserved to be a huge star. He never went through the difficult rise to fame that many truly great players have endured. I think if the unheralded Dwayne Wade as an example. He’s humble and great. That comes from being an underdog that went to Marquette, and worked hard before bursting onto the NBA stage.

If Larry Brown can tap into his head and get him to play the right way……stop. How many times have you heard that? It’s got to be the biggest “if” in the league, and it really should be stopped before it gets even bigger. Steph will never catch onto Larry Brown’s philosophy. It’s too late for him. I’m a fan, but honestly I don’t expect Marbury to be the man to save New York. In fact, I expect the team to challenge for a playoff spot this year despite Marbury, Crawford, and Q.

The future appears to be now. I’m expecting Nate Robinson, Channing Frye, Trevor Ariza, David Lee, and Eddy Curry to see big minutes for the Knicks this season. I also expect Antonio Davis to log more time than Jerome James. New York fans will be surprised to see the best runs of the season come when the young guns get more minutes, and the lethargic play that starts games will be reversed when a cast of super subs ignites defensive runs that save games. It’s an uphill battle for the playoffs, but stay tuned.

Mr.WEST: The Knicks hand Larry Brown $10 million/year in the most polite form of robbery I have seen since Thelma & Louise. That old bastard is getting paid to basically be an old jerk and make the game of basketball more like the NFL each day: slow, plodding and each play called out in advance. On paper NY has some ballers but too many of them are mentally fragile or physically slow. Isiah Thomas is like Damien in the Omen II.