NBA Season Preview: Northwest

Denver Nuggets
MVP:
LVP:

Mr.WEST: Will the real Nuggets please stand up? Is it the squad who went 32-8 (!) to end last season or the squad who floundered under .500 to kick off the season? Logic would dictate some place in between. George Karl is a fun coach who tends to let players play unlike many of his peers. Without a doubt getting Carmelo under control was the big step after his ego and sot selection went in the shitter earl on.

The talented nucleus of starters and bench is undeniable. For the Nuggets, this is the first time they have almost all the same personnel back with the seemingly small but possibly important re-introduction of Voshon Lenard who missed all but 3 games last season with an injury Perhaps a legit shooter is all Denver needed.

The Nuggets have size, athleticism , spirit and even some girth with K-Mart, Nene and Camby guarding the hoop. As any fantasy nerd knows, the injury bug seems to infect big men in Denver often. If this squad stays healthy, look out.

Mr.EAST: I agree about George Karl. He’s a flake, but he’s no Doug Moe. He lets his guys play, but they play with an idea about how to compete. They got problems though. Voshon Lenard is made of paper mache, and Kenyon Martin’s knees are already giving him problems in the pre-season. Camby is made of the same shit they use to make Necco wafers, and Carmelo is overrated. I’m not saying that this team isn’t good, but people are quick to jump on the bandwagon of a bunch of guys that have more question marks hanging all over them than the Riddler. Good squad though. Keep your fingers crossed Kiki.



Portland Trailblazers
MVP:
LVP:

Mr.WEST: Does anyone else think that the Jailblazers seem to be treading water when it comes to cleaning up their image? Normally “image” would not mean shit to me but there seems to be a direct correlation between image and the ability to in win Portland. One look at this squad just screams “bitches.”

The players are no one you’d want as teammates: can we all just admit that Darius Miles does not deserve the “underdeveloped special talent!” he gets at this point in his career? Can Zach Randolph become Elton Brand instead oh John Hot Plate Williams? Can Sebastian Telfair refrain from being a lesser Starbury? Coach Nate McMillan took the billionaire’s money and inherited a family of retards along with it.

Perhaps this team will follow the Sonics lead and allow unselfish big men like Ratliff and Pryzbilla do the dirty so others can fill it up. The problem is that the “others” are not Ray Allen here. Bless your harts, Blazers fans, for still going to games. You dumb bastards.

Mr.EAST: Why the fuck did Nate McMillan take over this team? Was he that pissed of at Sonics’ management that he had to go to the “other” Pacific Northwest franchise. I went from liking Zach Randolph when he was a sleeper, to hating his idiotic guts now. He and Ruben Patterson keep whining like bitches about not having enough talent on their team. Hey asswipes, you guys are supposed to be the talent. Earn your ridiculous salaries and take over a few games. This team will never win with this mix of players. They should pull a New Orleans/Oklahoma City/Tuscaloosa/Pittsburgh Hornets and ship out Miles, Randolph, Patterson, and Ratliff to get a few draft picks. Play Telfair, Webster, and Przybilla and take your chances until you find a free agent that is actually a player.



Utah
MVP: Andrei Kirilenko
LVP: Gordon Giricek

Mr.EAST: How is it that the Jazz lack a decent player at the one position easiest to fill in the NBA? How many decent shooting guards are floating around in the league, and on various benches, and the Jazz have none of them on their roster? Gordon Giricek is my LVP for the Jazz, but it’s hardly his fault. He sucks, but who ever said he was any good. As far as I’m concerned, the Jazz will not compete without a better player at the two. Where’s the shooting to soften up the post for Boozer and Okur? How will Kirilenko take advantage of his slashing/driving skill if the defense is sagging off Giricek to cut him off?

The MVP is obviously Kirilenko. There isn’t another guy that combines the all around game he features in the league. He’s kind of like Ben Wallace meets Dominique Wilkins. I’m not prepared to put the guy in the Hall of Fame, but he’s a perennial All-Star in the making and Utah needs to continue to build around his defensive fire and athletic ability. Boozer is a good low block scorer and rebounder and although he gets beat up for his handling of the Cleveland situation, he’s a keeper as well. The forward slot in Utah is well taken care of….

The point will be manned by Deron Williams, who is going to be a flat out player…..someday. I’m not all that convinced he can be effective on a consistent basis as a rookie. At first, I thought he might challenge for the ROY award, but after seeing him in the pre-season, I can see the holes in his game. The Jazz will be tough in a year or two, but the guard play just ain’t there. Sorry Utah.

Mr.WEST: Oh just fucking say it already—no one likes Utah! Weird white people and a coach that is old school only other hustling white dudes love his style. AK-47 gets too injured to earn my respect. He is a paper tiger. Boozer is an asshole who played down to expectations. And they got no one under 6’6” who mildly scares you: Deron Williams has the head of J-Kidd and the talent of Jacque Vaughn. Try as they might , this squad can’t over the hump.



Minnesota
MVP: Michael Olowokandi….just kidding. KG, of course.
LVP: Wally Szczerbiak

Mr.EAST: This team is a sad story. I like the T-Wolves so it pains me to write this downer of a commentary, but it must be done. KG is an all-time great and a ferocious competitor, but he is the Lone Ranger without Tonto. He doesn’t even have Silver in Minnesota. Cassell and Spree were such a good mix their first season together and the T-Wolves looked bad ass. The offense was like an Aston Martin and they had some much needed grit in crunch time. Unfortunately that grit got in the crack of their ass, like a bathing suit at the beach, and the team was forced to divorce. An ugly picture.

Now, they have jack shit and may as well start over. Trade KG and give the man a chance at a better NBA life, McHale. Please do us all a favor. Marko Jaric, Trenton Hassell, Michael Olowokandi, Troy Hudson, and Nicolas Tshikitichvoliailioliakialioli aren’t an NBA roster. In fact that whole bunch of bums should get shipped off to the D-League for reprogramming. The only guys on that squad that have any skills at all are Eddie Griffin, who’s a headcase, and Mark Madsen who thinks he’s a crash test dummy.

I’ll save the last word for a decent guy by all accounts, but still my LVP. Wally Szczerbiak is a handsome guy, so he gets his mug plastered all over Timberwolves promotional materials like Thunder Dan did in his Suns’ heyday, but the guy is like Tim Legler 4.0. He shoots well. That’s it. They should revive Baywatch and give Wally a starring role, so he can quit the NBA and open his roster spot for someone who can get KG back into the playoffs.

Mr.WEST: Am I the only thinking that Garnett is finally due for an extended injury? Not because he should be hurt but more because he wants to b hurt, a la Vince Carter before the Nets got him. This team took a total dive in 2004-2005, and things look even worse for this season on paper. Give me Speedwell and Cassell over Rasher McCann’s and Troy Hudson any day. Garnett is all alone here, people. Throw the man a line!

Seattle Supersonics [I know they dropped the “super” but I think that’s lame and putit back for them]
MVP: Ray Allen
LVP: Luke Ridnour

Mr.WEST: I’m sure you, like me, was such an NBA genius that you also picked the Sonics to win 50+ games last year. Yeah, right, and Lindsey Lohan’s nose has never touched a line of blow. But there they were, winning their little division and fighting the Spurs hard in the playoffs by round 2. This year the Sonics will surprise no one as they inevitably have to take a step backwards. Why? Well, how the hell do they keep up thet play with all the same plsyers minus Antonio Daniels and Jerome James? Those guys may be perennial NBA backups but they delivered meaningfully for Seattle last year.

Ray Allen is the best shooter in the league, sorry Peja. And his teammates in Rashard Lewis, Radmonovic and company did what few teams in the NBA have done in recent memory: they actually shot the ball well night in and night out. Plus, they have a 3-headed rebounding goon in Collison, Evans and Fortson who are cool with others scoring. They will win games because they bring it each night.

What holds them back are two key things: coaching and point guard play. Nate McMillan left his Mr. Sonic nametag on the floor, and old Wally Weiss is typical NBA circle bullshit. More importantly, Luke Ridnour is not set to lead this team. He is too frail, too “not there” to do it right. I foresee a struggle for him even with more PT with Daniels gone.

Mr.EAST: The only hustle in the Key Arena this year is the hustle that Coach Weiss put on the Sonics’ front office to give him another job in the league. Without Nate the Great cracking the whip on his guys, and commanding discipline from the sidelines you’ll see Fortson go bonkers and piss someone off, Lewis get preoccupied with the three point line, and Radmonovic milk a turned ankle into a 3 week vacation. They can still win, but the motivation has to come from within and in my experience with the NBA, guys need artificial motivation to compete every night. Whether it’s a great coach, a contract year, or a tough as balls teammate there has to be something to make these guys care about playing the Bobcats in December. I’m not sure it’s there, and I’m not sure you’ll see more than 43-44 wins for the Sonics this year.